Little Miss Lulu

Hey guys! Today I'm going to do a post a little different from my usual posts! There are a lot of people I know in my life, and myself included, that have gone through tough times and literally feel like they've hit rock bottom. For example, I always feel like I'm cursed around exam time, cos somehow or another I manage to get myself hospitalised. Before my Junior Cert exams I was in hospital having an endoscopy, before my Leaving Cert exams I had my appendix removed and before my Christmas exams in College I was in hospital for a week with severe headaches and vertigo and they thought I had meningitis (turns out it wasn't, thank god). But I always seem to go through these periods of extreme pain and sickness before exams and I literally began to prepare myself to be sick before exam time, just because of my bad timing and luck. But before my summer exams, I told myself, do you know what, Lucy? You're not going to be sick. You're going to knuckle yourself down, eat healthily, exercise and try and keep in a good frame of mind to ensure you don't fall ill before exams. And guess what? It worked. I kept telling myself I was going to be okay and I went through my first EVER set of serious exams in perfect condition. All it took was for me to get my head around things and keep positive.

Now, I know that is a mild story, because believe me there have been far worse times in my life and lives of people I know and love, but I just wanted to give an example that I was comfortable enough sharing with you guys. For people out there that are going through a time in their life where they are not happy and don't feel like themselves anymore, you should all know that everything is going to be okay, you just have to look for that silver lining and sometimes you have to be the one to get yourself on the right track to finding that break in the clouds.

But sometimes people wonder how the hell am I supposed to get out of feeling like this? When you really don't know what to do or how to feel, you really need someone to guide you to where you want to be. So, I have come up with 7 Steps to Happiness that always seem to get me through those sad periods in my life. I hope that they work for you guys and I hope you can really take in what i'm saying and help yourself get back on track! You only have one shot at life, so everyone deserves to live theirs happily.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

Luce xo

1. Try and understand that being happy doesn't mean you will have a completely problem-free life and you can't have everything you want in life.

I bet you're thinking, how is this possible? Being happy means I have everything I want and I have no problems in my life! But in reality, that's not true. There are always going to be those little nagging problems that can sometimes seem like the end of the word. But don't let those little things get you down. You will realise that those little things really have no impact on your life as a whole, and there will always be ways to fix them.

You may think you need something too, and you can feel like you're missing out if you don't have it. You have to find out what you need in life, instead of what you want. Fantasising about things you want that you can't have is going to make you feel unhappy, so try and focus on the things you need in life, and most of the time you realise that the things that make you happy, you already have! And as Mama Odie once said, if you dig a little deeper and find out what you need, blue skies and sunshine are guaranteed.

2. Negative thoughts are just thoughts.

Thoughts are just thoughts, it doesn't mean they're true. If I think that the world is shaped like a square, it doesn't mean it's true. People constantly think negative thoughts, but they aren't necessarily true. One negative thought can often lead to another, and then a chain begins and you begin to succumb to these negative thoughts and perceptions that you are inventing for yourself.

But how on Earth do you break the chain? Often people think that thinking positively is the way to healing, but the quickest way is to first accept that the only reason you feel bad in the first place is because you're listening to the rubbish your mind is telling you. You are good enough, you are beautiful, you are whatever your mind is telling you you're not! Whatever it is, you may think you're going through this on your own, but there is someone in your life you can talk to about how you're feeling. Talk to them, and it can give you a completely different view on your situation and help you ignore these negative thoughts.

Instead of thinking, 'I'm going through a hard time, I'm never going to get through this', think, 'I'm facing some challenges right now, but I'm going to work at it and find some solutions'. You're saying the same thing to yourself, but the second option is thinking about it more positively. By just shifting your tone of thinking, it can change the way you view your negative thoughts completely.

3. Start your day by thinking about one positive thing about your life.

You may think your life is completely blackened by negativity, but in reality, the negativity you think about doesn't have a patch on the positivity that is flowing through your life. By waking up in the morning and starting the day thinking one positive thought in your life, you can build this up and eventually see that your life is full of happiness and prosperity.

Even a simple thought like 'the sun is shining today', 'my outfit is well put together today' or even reminding yourself of something you're good at, can all help lead towards a happier mindset. We tend to hold onto negative a lot stronger than positives so this can be a small way to give yourself a moment to check in with our happier thoughts and realities.

Another thing that you could do, is write down every positive thought you have in the morning, and put in a clear jar. Then after a couple of weeks, you will begin to see the jar filling up and recognise the happiness that is in your life. And whenever you're having a really bad day, you can always go to your 'positive thoughts jar' and read about all the happy things you once noticed was in your life!

4. When you're enjoying yourself, don't think about responsibilities you have in life.

When you're out with your friends, or having a relaxing bath, or just doing something carefree, try not to get bogged down on the responsibilities you have to deal with when you're finished. This is a big one I struggle with, and I have only recently come to terms with it. One of my close friends pointed it out to me that I let my responsibilities take over my life and I never have time for myself. This one was definitely tough for me to get over, because I have a lot of responsibility in my life, but now when I'm doing something for me, I push my responsibilities out of my mind and just enjoy myself.

When you're at work, college, at home, focus on the responsibilities you have at that present time. Try not to stress yourself over things you haven't finished at work or the the dishes you left on the table before you left. These are insignificant in the bigger picture of your life, and will fill you with unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Sometimes you need to clear your mind, relax, and just let your hair down and forget about all the responsibilities you have that really don't matter in the long run.

5. Don't forget about your friendships

This is another one I feel that I struggle with. When work or school or any other responsibilities become stressful, people often think that this has to be prioritised and hanging out with friends is a luxury. Your friends will ask you to hang out or go for lunch, and after one too many times of you saying, 'sorry I can't I have too much work/chores to do', they're going to stop asking. But people don't realise that by saying no to your friends because of stress and responsibilities, you're cutting that one string that keeps you stable.

Making sure to spend time with your friends has huge mental health benefits, and can help keep stress levels down. It's a great coping mechanism and a necessity for your health that should not be cut when things get tough. Next time a friend asks to do something and you feel you're deep in responsibilities, tell your friend what you're going through and give up an hour of your day to de-stress with your friend. You never know, you may relieve so much more pressure by getting things off of your chest and having a good laugh with a good friend who is always going to be there for you in your times of trouble.

6. Don't forget that your physical health has an impact on your mental health.

While trying to get yourself in a happier state of mind, your physical state has to be healthy in order for your mind to be healthy. It is so important to keep your body healthy by eating healthily and exercising regularly. I'm not saying that this has to take over your life, but by making simple changes to your diet, like eating your 5 a day, eating fish once a while (and not the kind from the chipper!), cutting back on junk food and just figuring out what makes you feel good after eating, can help improve your physical health and can lead towards improving your mental health.

Also physical activity is so important for your mental wellbeing. Not only does it help keep your body healthy, but it keeps you distracted from your stress and anxieties, and focused on something else.

Some physical thing you can do to create a habit of happiness can be,

- Going for a run to let off some steam,

- Yoga or meditation is great for clearing your mind, finding inner peace and relaxing your body,

- Something like a dance class, trampolining, a group sport or doing a class with a friend is a great way to incorporate play into your life and leave you feeling stress free.

- "Honour your circadian rhythm by waking shortly after sunrise or going to sleep just after sunset. Its good to have 6-8 hours of sleep in order to be happy, but it helps our brains function better by sharing the rhythm of the sun". Some deep psychologist called Jennifer Jones suggested this one, so maybe give it a try to bring some happiness back into your life.

7. Release some chemicals and endorphins!

Of course studying science, I had to include this one! Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Endorphins are key in helping you achieve happiness. Things can happen throughout your daily life that can help trigger these neurotransmitters (for example, oxytocin is actually released during labour!), but instead of just letting them naturally be released, there are ways you can intentionally release these chemicals and make yourself happier.

Dopamine motivates you to take action towards your goals, desires and needs, and gives you a surge of reinforcing pleasure when achieving them. Procrastination, self-doubt and lack of enthusiasm are linked to having low levels of dopamine in your body. Take your big goals in life, that you feel are getting you down because they look impossible to do, and breaking them down into smaller ones. This way, every time you achieve each little goal, you will release dopamine as a reward and will help motivate you to achieve your next goal.

Serotonin is released when you feel important, significant and praised. Low levels of serotonin are linked with feeling lonely and depressed. By thinking about the things you have achieved in the past and praising yourself for them, instead of thinking about the things you have not yet achieved in the future, will help release serotonin and push you to achieve the goals you have yet to succeed in. By going for a walk in the sun, or sitting out in the sun and reading, helps your body naturally boost your vitamin-D and serotonin levels.

The release of oxytocin creates intimacy, trust and increases relationships. There are many intimate times in a persons life where oxytocin is released, but by just giving somebody a gift and seeing the happiness when they receive it, or by giving a simple hug, can release oxytocin levels in the body.

Finally, as I mentioned in post no.6, exercising and laughing is a great way to make you feel happier. The reason for this is because exercising and laughter are great ways to release your bodies natural endorphins and keep the happiness flowing. Other ways of doing this are by smelling vanilla or eating chocolate! So now we all have an excuse to buy vanilla candles and eat buckets of chocolate.